E 231 The Importance of Integration

CL Integration

Christina: [00:00:00] Hello. It's great to be with you. Today we are talking about the concept of integration. And I remember coming into this term during one of my spiritual direction training times, we actually had a group called Integration Group. And our facilitator often used the term integration. And to be honest, up until that point, my understanding of that word had to do with math class I took in high school where I vaguely recall hearing that term about integrating.

But beyond that, it wasn't a vocabulary word that I had as part of my everyday life or my spiritual life. But I began noticing how this idea is actually quite relevant. It's the idea that as we're absorbing information and experiences, how do they integrate or how do they show up into our everyday lives?

Perhaps we attend a conference or we go on a special trip with amazing experiences. We might even use the term a mountaintop experience. Then what happens is when we return to our [00:01:00] everyday life, we maybe lose what was gained during that special time, or we had the experience and it was great, but we don't really know how to impact that in our actual lives or even how to communicate it with other people or what that means and how that experience has actually changed us.

And so I think sometimes it can feel difficult to name the transformation and changes because often it's invisible. Something happened, something was moving or really special or unique but it needs time to unfold and need time to settle in and marinate, if you will.

And so the more I've been sitting with this concept of integration, I think, wow, actually this is really helpful. I've been learning about more theories and practices of inter integration that we'll explore today on the podcast. But I just wanted to bring this up as a topic of discussion. Chris, what comes up for you with this idea of integration?

Yeah, I think having a language of integration would've been super helpful. To me in my younger years, I loved going to events and youth [00:02:00] conferences and things like that. I think I liked the big events and I would go and I'd get hyped up and excited, and then I'd come back and. Have an experience of a letdown.

The things that were talked about in the conference just didn't make its way into normal life, and no one really brought it into focus or help, help us to see what to do when we came back home from these events. So then there was the cycle of waiting until the next big event. And I think living from one exciting event to another isn't.

It's not real life, and I think that it can be a setup for let's just say shallow experiences when it's all said and done. And I tend to be more of a slower processor in general. So for me, it's helpful to have space and then come back to the things that, are, that I've been processing, having a chance to let it sink in [00:03:00] more to see what remains.

Yeah. And I think it's interesting you talking about that cycle of we have a big event and then we want the next big event. And I remember a friend of mine, he did this extensive backpacking trip and he was talking about these amazing experiences that he had. And so there was a opportunity that he had to go back to one of his places that he had hiked, and it was with a, different group of people.

And I think he was expecting the same mountaintop experience. And even though it was still the most beautiful spot and all this amazing. Hiking to get there. It was a letdown for him because I think then his expectation was of a certain recreation of an event that didn't happen. And so this was a concept that he really had to sit with of how can I take that event?

And it, it was beautiful and it was wonderful, but I don't have to necessarily recreate that to have the benefit from it. I can have a reflection time on that or I can. Let that be its own thing and I can have a separate thing that's its own thing as well. And they don't have to match or be the same, or one doesn't have to one up the other one.

So I appreciate what you're naming about that cycle. 'cause I think [00:04:00] that's a very normal thing we do. Whether it's a conference or a trip or even going out to a new restaurant or something. Quite simple where we have this expectation that then that will be its own unique thing again and maybe it's not.

Yeah, absolutely. I think. As we mature, we see that, that's not the case. That our experiences, we, it's really hard to incur to curate how we feel, our emotions around certain events. And so I really appreciated you bringing that element because I think that's. That's what we want in life is we want to have a connectedness to the experiences that, that we're experiencing, and not just with ourselves, but we want to have a connectedness to others as well.

So I, I think another piece of integration that you know, I would wanna bring up is integrating all of life. How I show up as a parent or how I show up to a contemplative retreat where I'm playing music or how I [00:05:00] show up to a customer service representative for a question about my cell phone bill.

I think all of that is integration and. Opportunity for me and us to be one person who is learning how to be patient and gracious and fun. We don't need to live our lives as if, we're just a bunch of fragmented pieces. I think integrating our whole selves means showing up in whatever aspect of life as who I am, who I really am, rather than these different personas.

Obviously I'm gonna show up differently to you. As my wife, then I would, let's say a customer service representative or just in general when people think about you would they see the same person, would they use similar language to describe you, or do you show up just a [00:06:00] little bit different, or.

Fragment would be a word that I would use. Fragmented or a different face. Do you show up as someone that would be unrecognizable and so I think, that's another part of integration that I think is important to discuss as well.

I like what you're saying. I think it is important that we're showing up.

Of course there's gonna be a little bit difference depending on how close you are to a person, I think is what you're saying. Again, is there some similar adjectives of, yeah, this person in general is really kindhearted or patient or sharp or courageous, or whatever the word is. Right? And just this idea of what are our spiritual markers?

Is it how often we read sacred texts and are in those sorts of. Practices or how we show up to someone in need, right? I think it's both. I think again, integrating the both and of more of the reflective inner space with the outer space. And as I've been thinking about integration, I've been learning a little bit about Ken Wilber's Integral [00:07:00] Theory.

And although what he says is really complex and there's graphs and all that kind of stuff I wanna boil it down for the purposes of the podcast where he talks about this idea that we usually only see one part of the picture or a situation. And so he tries to get us to expand, to look at all the different pieces together, the scientific view, the psychological view, cultural, spiritual, personal.

And he calls this integral because it integrates or it connects everything. And so he has these four sections. There's me, it, we, and its, and so me is the. Inside individual, right? So what are my own thoughts, feelings, personal growth as I consider the situation. The next is the outside. What is your brain, your body, your behavior?

Say next is the we, the collective. What is our culture, our values, our relationships? And then the outside collective of like systems, governments, environments. So let me give an example of those four things, right? It's me, it we, its are the four. [00:08:00] Situations. So let's just take a topic like the environment.

So that first one, me as an individual, my inner world, how do I feel about the environment? Do I feel anxious about it? Do I feel hopeful? What are some personal ways that I relate to the question around the environment? It is outside of my individual. So what's the science say? What do measurements say?

How do we measure different things related to the environment? We, what do our communities, what does my family think about the environment when I in conversations with different community groups that I'm in or different? People like that. And then the, it's the plural. What are the laws, what are the industries?

What are technology and how is that speaking into the environment? And so that's a much different picture, right? If I'm having a conversation about the environment and I am just talking myself or just talking about the latest law happening or whatever, that's only one or two slices of this really.

Beautifully complex topic, right? Where the more that we can integrate and connect all these different pieces, it makes her a fuller understanding and a fuller conversation. Another example my oldest kid is really good at this. Her playlist on Spotify [00:09:00] is, it's a very, when you think about music and musical taste, she has a very eclectic.

Soundtrack is very full, right? She rap and jazz and pop and classical and all these different pieces. And with that, she loves connecting in. If we're listening to the big band, she'll talk about the culture back then and how that connects to what it makes her feel on the inside or what were the pop charts saying, 10 years ago in the, 2000 whatevers and how does that connect with things? And and then also how has music changed? And you can see technological industry changes in different ways that instruments maybe the eighties synth that was really popular back then versus different genres. And I think that you can take this to any sort of a angle of how do we integrate and connect and make for a richer, fuller.

Situation. So yeah, I really appreciated some of the language and the robustness that Ken Wilber's been offering me as I consider some of this.

Yeah, I really like that. Particularly as it relates to expansion. I think a lot of times we can be [00:10:00] myopic about a certain. How I'm feeling, how I'm how I'm growing and we're not seeing the whole picture.

It's not just about me. I'm not, I don't live my life in a vacuum, if I decide to do a course on leadership. How is that gonna affect the rest of my life? Not just me, like it could, I'm being drawn to something or, whatever the situation, if you're being drawn to it, how you feel about it.

But then, how is it affecting your behaviors, what do, are you feeling any hesitation in your body? I've had to. Wrestle with some discernments lately. And there's the me that I feel like I have maybe a little bit a harder time grasping.

And then the, it, I think about the, it a lot and I think about the we a lot. And I think the, it's. I'm starting to think about more but just how helpful that language is when it helps us[00:11:00] we're using the word integrate, but, I think one, one of the ways that we move forward in life is yes, integration.

But at what discernments is this, does this have on where we're headed in life I really appreciate the language around me. It, we, it's,

yeah, and maybe just to give one more practical example as it relates to like a spiritual practice. So say meditation, we'll take that as an example.

And so me on the inside, what's happening inside of me. So when I meditate, maybe I feel calm, maybe my mind's racing, maybe I notice emotions maybe I'm frustrated, maybe I feel a sense of peace. And so just taking stock as to what's going on inside me as an individual. Then what's going on outside me as an individual, and this is something that scientists can measure, right?

They can measure my brainwaves or my heart rate, or like literally hormones that are being released or whatever. So my body is literally changing while I meditate. And that's something that scientists can actually from the outside [00:12:00] observe and have data around. So that's the me it, and then the we, the collective maybe what's happening in my community.

So maybe I'm meditating with a group and so there's shared language around that, or there's a tradition or there's meaning that we make together as we're meditating. And then the, it's the collective, the outside coming in. And so what are systems and structures? And does your school have mindfulness programs?

A lot of the K 12 schools now have mindfulness programs. Is that something that your religion or your culture practices in prayer. Apps or institutions supporting it. I remember years ago I was on like watching late night with Jimmy Fallon and somebody from one of the meditation apps was on and describing kind of his app and, so I began researching wow, some of these meditation apps are these huge industry leaders in the tech world, but they're encouraging people into meditation and so on.

Jimmy Fallon, the entire audience. Spent like a minute in quiet. So the guy was sharing about his own personal thing, the scientific benefits. He was talking about some of the industry trends, and then he led the entire group in that late night talk show and on TV [00:13:00] in this meditation thing. And so I walked away from that in a, with a very different experience of how does that integrate into the different.

Pieces of that. And then from there I went on my own sort of rabbit trails of what does this mean for my individual life? How might I introduce my kids to meditation? What's the science and the benefits and geeking into that more. And so you can see how one topic, when we describe this thing of.

Integration or integral or connecting body, mind, spirit, all those different pieces that come together to really enrich what's going on in our lives, which again, is very different from what we were talking about before. You have this one-off experience or this personal thing that you're going through that nobody else can relate to.

Or maybe you have like your little family or your little cloister over here doing that, but it doesn't relate to some of the science or. The wider institutions or culture, things like that. So again, just another kind of a practical example that we're describing here. Yeah.

I like that you're bringing in spiritual practices and one of the, one of [00:14:00] the things that has really helped me grow in a spiritual practice is the sort of the collective aspect of centering prayer. I did centering prayer by myself for a number of years, and it was a slug fest, right?

Like it was, I did it, it was good for me. But I think whenever I tried integrating that practice in a community of people, it was less laborious. I have an online spiritual practice centering prayer group that meets weekly, and I can't join it every week. But the times that I joined the, the centering prayer group and it's with a collective people, I think.

It's so much easier for me to engage in that spiritual practice. And so I really appreciate this analogy as you bring up spiritual practices. And so going back to the beginning where I talked about the integration group and now I really do appreciate that language and I'm glad that they called it that versus just a small [00:15:00] group or a discussion group, because I do think it really helped me also before we're, 'cause we're constantly learning new things and taking in new information and it's like before we go learn the next thing that we're gonna learn.

How are we actually letting this form us and shape us and change us and show up in our day-to-day lives? And that's been something that I've been trying to pay more attention to that as I'm learning new things, how is this actually being lived out before I am going to learn the next? New thing. And I'm not saying that I do that all the time.

Certainly I learn things and it just goes in ear and out the other, or that was fun to know or learn. And it hasn't really impacted my life probably that much. But I think I'm really trying to pay attention to integration and rather than always just going for more and new, how am I absorbing this and digesting it and, letting go of the things that.

I don't necessarily wanna integrate, I'm not gonna integrate a hundred percent of what I learn in a particular setting. But what are those two or three pieces that Wow really did strike me? And as I think about it and reflect more as [00:16:00] I talk about it with other people, as I think about how it's impacting the wider, themes of things that I'm hearing with other people I think those are the things that I pay attention to.

And then feeding that more versus. Okay, what's next? What's new? Those sorts of things that don't feel as integral to me in my particular season of life right now. Yeah. And I feel like I just wanna name my, for myself, like this is hard. A lot of times I like new experiences. I get energy from new experiences.

The older I get, the more that I feel like integration is going to help me live life to the fullest rather than just it, I'm just in cruise mode or I'm like, I'm in a jet stream. And cruising along. And I think. For me the work of journaling or writing it down I use, I, I use speech to text ways that you can, ways that you can [00:17:00] review the things that are coming up.

I think the examine is a way to review things that are coming up. There's so many different ways to review things that are coming up, but for me. Again, this is the hard part of life is, making sure that I'm not, I'm, that I get out of that jet stream and I take time to reflect.

I I take time to see the bigger picture.

I, yeah, I agree with you. It is definitely difficult for me as well. I definitely have a personality that likes new things and that's a good, that's a good part of my personality, but I'm also trying to grow in. Re repeating things also. It's interesting. Our niece was just visiting and she's in her mid twenties and is traveling.

And so we were talking about, and I had the same thing when I was younger, just a thirst to find new countries and new places and explore and have a checklist almost of different places you're going. But then the beauty of going back to places and really integrating yourself into a culture and soaking it in and getting to know a place more.

And so she was reflecting on that, there's some places that she wants to [00:18:00] return to. And so there's this sort of. Push and pull of, do I go for the new places or is it okay to go back to some of the same places? And just saying, yeah, if your heart's connecting with a place, go back and there's a depth and a richness that you can experience going back to a certain place, rather than feeling like there always has to be a new thing and a new experience and settling into that's okay.

And again I used a simple example of a restaurant, I think sometimes it's. I have a favorite restaurant, and sometimes I like to try new dishes, but sometimes it's like I wanna integrate into this Venezuelan culture and this particular piece of Venezuelan culture and the food here I really like.

So I'm gonna return to that. And each time I do, it's just a richer, a deeper. And I'm always grateful that I chose that dish because I really love it and I'm integrated into the culture and the spices and that sort of thing. And so again, it's a both end. I'm not saying that you then have to eat the same thing all the time or only travel to a certain place.

But I think that there is a richness in. Returning and repeating and going deeper into, and really experience some of that integration. I think that applies [00:19:00] to spiritual practices. I think I, I like new spiritual practices. I like trying new spiritual practices. I, and I think a lot of people need to try new spiritual practices to see what works, what, what shimmers what resonates.

When they try that practice. But for me, I think returning to some of the practices and the repetition of those in my life in a consistent way are really important. So I appreciate you bringing up repetition.

Thank you so much for an interesting conversation around integration and the idea of connecting and beyond my high school math class, seeing some more applications to how this is relevant into our lives.

 And now as the part of the podcast where we take a moment to talk about what we are into. So what are we into? I am into the game backgammon. We recently had some relative relatives [00:20:00] visit and me and one of my in-laws love to play backgammon when we get together. But something very fun happened this time.

We're off to the side playing, playing our game, and hearing some of the same stories or some of the new stories that have happened as we played backgammon. But my son he wanted to play backgammon. He showed an interest in backgammon and he really loves numbers and counting, and backgammon is a great strategy game for, the, working your way through a landscape. And so I have told him that we will play more in the days to come, and he's really excited about the game of backgammon. So I'm excited about playing backgammon with my son. So backgammon is what I'm into. Very fun. I am into nectarines and summer is fading and so is nectarine season.

That is like one of my favorite summer fruits and I've been trying to soak in as many times that I could [00:21:00] eat nectarines as possible. And so I just this morning cut up my last nectarine and it's probably the last nectarine for the season, and so I'm gonna have some nectarine strawberries with. Yogurt and seeds here after the podcast.

But boy, I just love nectarines. I dunno, there's something about it that just really delights me. In the wintertime, I do make a baked oatmeal with frozen peaches, which is a cousin of nectarines. I haven't quite found frozen nectarines, but the peaches are skinned and I like those, but I am into that yummy summer fruit that is again, fading as we're entering into the fall season.

Thank you so much for joining us, and until next time, make it a great week.